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Old 18th April 2011, 12:51 PM
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gillieman gillieman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wrexham
Posts: 129
Default This feller is mad!!

Sorry this as nothing to do with airguns but it is funny as hell!! its not a spoof this was on eveil bay.

I've copied this for ease of reading.

Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec Ghia Mint Green (Possibly works underwater but this is unconfirmed)

If Trebor made car paint then I imagine it would look something like the colour of this car, itís a pale minty green. I will include some green Trebor mints in the sale so that you can compare for yourself. Please specify if you would prefer Extra Strong mints instead, they are white (unlike the colour of this car) but I personally prefer them even if I do hold them partially responsible for the decay in one of my teeth.

I took this car in part exchange along with some cash for another car I was selling. I didnít really want it but I wanted the car I had less and since I am a valeter by trade I saw potential in this.

The engine is sound as can be, the gearbox is a dream, it steers like itís on rails and all of the features and electricals work as designed. Itís the Ghia model (what does ghia even mean?) so has a bunch of extras such as heated front windscreen, air con, electrically adjustable front seats and an upgraded dash.

Inside its quite lovely, dark and mysterious but shiny and clean. I would feel quite happy to host a business conference inside it. Refreshments could be served through one of the electrically operated windows. Drinks could be placed in 1 of the 2 available cup holders. If your business meeting was for more than 2 people then some of the participants may have to hold their drinks, they might whinge a bit because of this but just remind them that in some parts of the world they havenít even invented drinks yet.

Nothing nasty to report about the inside of the car, no rips or scuffs, its very tidy actually. I have been driving this minty little number around for a few days now and I was surprised how nice it is to drive and have opted to drive this rather than my Mondeo. OMG I am such a liar, I just remembered that the passenger side door handle is a bit scruffy, thatís all though.

Itís a Ford Focus from 2001 which is exactly 1 year after 2000 when the world didnít end and VCRs continued to work. I didnít do much that New Years eve, not because I was afraid an airplane would fall out of the sky and land on me, I just fancied a quiet night in with my girlfriend of that time, I say girlífriend, she was nearly 40 but a proper sporty little thing, bit ugly but perky where it counted. I myself am no beauty box so us both being a bit ugly I never had and insecurities that she would run off with my best friend lol. But she did about a year later! He left his wife, went a bit mad, got sectioned then released, turned out to be an alcoholic and now has pancreatitis, all is well that ends well.

The alloys on this MINT GREEN (itís not blue or black or red or any other colour, deal with the fact that its mint green to avoid disappointment. If you thought maybe it was silver but the sunshine in the photos made it look a bit green you were wrong) are in genuinely good condition. I gave them a quick tickle with an alloy cleaning brush but they need a better clean than that but since I am quite busy trying to get in to the girl next doors knickers I canít be bothered. The plastics are all nice and black, the tyres are all insanely named cheap brands but have good tread on them. I valeted the car so itís looking good and smells divine Ė you might want to lick it but I recommend against this since some of the cleaning products I use are bad for tongues.

The windows are unbroken glass, have no chips and critically are transparent unlike bricks which are not often used as a window making material, they are tinted at the back so if you take that lass from the chippy up the hills you can do what you like in the back and wonít be seen. Unless someone looks through the windscreen and then the games up and the pillar box is down.

Itís done 107K miles which is much further than I can run and I wouldnít even attempt to run that far not even for comic relief or children in need unless there was a cash incentive then I would consider it and work out some way to cheat. It would be an elaborate cheat including most likely a helicopter and several disguises, somewhere I have a dress up banana suit which I have only used once so I would probably try to get some more use out of it since I think it cost me about £60 a few years back.

The exterior of the car is generally in pretty good condition, there is some surface rust under the rear wheel arches (not that bad) and its had a small ding on the rear which has been tarted up a bit and doesnít look that bad. There are a couple of places (arches, rear bumper) that have been resprayed in places probably due to surface rust in the past. I say resprayed, it actually looks like itís been done by a drunken blind clown at night hanging upside down from a moving giraffe. Honestly, Ghandi could have done a better job slapping paint on with his flip flops. Estimated cost to have this resprayed by someone that isnít mentally incapacitated is about £150-200 but who knows, maybe you arenít the picky type and just want a motor that runs well, is comfy and proper posh on the inside.

Itís got MOT and Tax until July and I really canít see any reason why it wonít fly through its next MOT (apart from the fact that cars donít fly, be cool if they did)

Aside from the couple of dodgy resprayed bits this is a very decent car that runs beautifully but is green.

Any inspection, test drive, pretend flight is more than welcome. If you donít want to drive it you can just sit in the driverís seat and I can make engines noises but there will be an additional fee for this. I can also make airplane noises my Airbus A380 is very impressive, helicopters are harder but I can try if that is your thing.

You can see from the pictures that overall this is a bang tidy motor and you have my word it drives well. If this doesnít sell I really couldnít care less, I will keep driving it around not pulling birds. I donít need to sell it but if you want it you can buy it.

Donít forget its fathers day soon! What do you buy the dad who has everything? Well if he has a crazy a$$ large desk you could buy him a full scale replica ford focus 1.8 zetec ghia paperweight. If you know someone like Doc Brown for the back to the future trilogy maybe they could make you a remote control lie the one he had for the DeLorean DMC-12 which would be way awesome!

Update, Tuesday 12th April: < I like this colour I just pretended to get off with myself in the back seats, I had someone confirm that they could see me. This unfortunately means the windows are only lightly tinted and it isn't privacy glass. Also worth mentioning that this car runs on petrol which can be bought at 'petrol stations', if you are unfamiliar with these then ask someone for directions to a place that sells over priced cold sausage rolls.

I can confirm that the petrol low light works, it just came on.

Also I just took delivery of a docking station for my laptop, the box it came in is surplus to requirements as I have plenty of other empty boxes. I will include this box in the sale at no extra cost. Finally for today, I think a pound coin fell out of my Bermuda shorts and has lodged itself somewhere under the drivers seat, if I don't find it before the car sells you can have this too. Dont be disappointed if its only 50p though, it sounded like a pound but could have been a 50.
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