Dear Mrs ______________
At this time of the year your husband/boyfriend/significant other loves nothing more than going Christmas shopping, particularly on the last Saturday before Christmas, the 19th December. He loves driving round for at least an hour trying to find a parking spot, and queuing in Argos is one of those festive activities he looks forward to all year round.
However, he has been a very naughty boy. Did you know he has spent £____ on guns and gun bits this year.
Of this, £____'s worth is still in the shed having never been used.
The best thing you can do is to punish him by making him sit in a wet and windy field shooting bits of lead at tin chickens.
More details can be found at: www.millrideftc.org.uk
or by opening up the attachment.
You know it makes sense.